Fading Memories and Writing: Personal Reflections

Fading Memories and Writing: Personal Reflections

Janpha Thadphoothon

In this blog post, I reflect on my past experiences with writing—not just as a practice, but as a profound process of self-discovery. Through these reflections, I aim to share lessons that have shaped my journey, both for my own growth and for the benefit of my readers.

The key lessons I've learned are:

1. Writing anything, no matter how small, is always worthwhile.
2. Keeping your writings safe and accessible is invaluable.

Writing is more than a chore, an assignment to be submitted, or a mere reminder. It is a way of constructing and preserving one’s identity—a process of capturing fleeting moments and giving them meaning. Writing, in essence, becomes a bridge between memory and selfhood.

I recently rediscovered my "lost notes"—scribbles and diary entries dating back to 2001. That was a time when I was in Canberra, Australia, pursuing my doctorate. These notes, stored on my computer and preserved over the years, have proven to be both revealing and invaluable. They transport me across time and dimensions, bringing me back to those moments with remarkable clarity.

Looking back, I felt as though I had stepped into the past, as vividly as if it had all happened yesterday. I could hardly believe it—names of people I had known, classmates, friends, moments of anguish and happiness—all came rushing back, unfolding before me with remarkable clarity. It was as if these memories were as tangible as the pile of books and the computer monitor right in front of me.

These memories mean a great deal to me, and I cherish them as an integral part of my life. If someone were to offer me a pile of gold in exchange for these memories, I doubt I would make the trade. Some questions continue to occupy my mind, questions I still wrestle with—what is reality? And how do we strike a balance between freedom and structure? These reflections remain a profound part of my journey.

At first, I saw these notes as a burden—who would ever need them? Over the years, I lost many of my notes while moving between houses and apartments, and I deeply regret not having them with me anymore. Lost notes, letters, and diaries feel like fragments of myself slipping away. There’s something profoundly personal about looking at my own handwriting, seeing the crossed-out words and erased lines. They reveal how I corrected myself, revised my thoughts, and refined my emotions—a tangible record of my evolving mind and heart.

Those lost notes, letters, and diary entries, upon reflection, are a part of life’s reality—it’s not perfect. We must accept our limitations and the inevitability of some losses. Perhaps there’s a reason why certain memories fade from our existence. The names of people we once knew, the places we visited, the streets we’ll never walk again—all these hold the mysteries and beauty of life. They are, in their own way, reflections of the best parts of myself.

Writing is about creating space and expanding the dimension of time—broadening one's horizons. I am grateful to those who have taught me how to write and helped me appreciate the true charm of writing.

Janpha Thadphoothon is a lecturer of English at the Faculty of Arts, the International College, Dhurakij Pundit University (DPU) in Bangkok, Thailand.